Healthy In Candy Land

Caring for our health & our planet one meal at a time

   Nov 08 2012

Pause

Later this month I will have been writing here on this blog for two years. Two years!

It has been two years of sharing my thoughts, my views, my family, my experiences and my food. It has provided me with a space in which to express myself and to interact with others. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the opportunities I’ve had and the connections I’ve made with others and everything I have learned along the way. And I am continuously humbled by the fact that all of you are out there, reading the things I have to say. I appreciate each and every one of you so very much.

But, you know what? I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately.

And after several years of wanting to, but never finding the time, I finally started meditating.

You see, over the past several months I have found myself rushing around every single day with an overwhelming sense of anxiousness and urgency. Like, no matter what I do, I can’t catch up. There’s always something I need to be doing.

It is exhausting.

And I’ve realized that while I am the type of person that likes to be busy, I just don’t want to be this busy anymore.

Life is way to short to be this busy. I have an incredibly awesome family with two sons that are at this really fun age that I want to be present for before they are way too cool for their mom. I have an amazing husband who always seems to get whatever time is leftover, if there is any. Why should the most important things in my life become less of a priority because there is too much other “stuff” to do? Why should I feel like I never have time to do all (or even just some!) of the things I want to do? Why can’t I ever just be?

Something’s gotta give.

As much as I love blogging and sharing my ideas and knowledge in an attempt to make a difference, no matter how small, I have decided to take a break from blogging. I’ve noticed a severe decline in the quality of my posts lately, and with it some of the enjoyment I previously experienced in creating them. I’ve never been good at finding the middle ground between all or nothing, so for now, I am giving myself the gift of time by freeing up a lot of my “spare” time formerly spent on blogging. It may not seem like it, but I put a lot of time into this thing. From creating recipes, photographing them, editing photos, writing and sometimes researching, it has been almost a full time job for me. A full time job that I am not getting paid for. (It is SO not about the money though.)

I don’t quite know yet if this will be a permanent pause or a temporary one. But I do know that it is the right decision for me. Once I made the decision in my mind several days ago, I felt like a heavy load was lifted from my shoulders.

Yesterday I met Erik for lunch. And we talked. And I was totally present and enjoyed every second. And every bite.

The night before I got up from the dinner table and sat on the family room floor to play Uno with my boys. And we laughed. And they ganged up on me and I lost.

I want more of these experiences.

I want to cook from and delight in the thousands of beautiful recipes in the cookbooks lining my shelves and the many I have bookmarked on my computer.

I want to explore other creative outlets and different types of photography, different types of learning.

I want to actually do some of the projects I have pinned on Pinterest.

I want less time sitting at the computer.

I want to read more books.

I want to dedicate more energy to my sons’ school and help make it a better place for our kids.

I want to enjoy the holidays without a sense of urgency. Without the rush.

I want to give back to my community.

I want to sometimes just sit and be still and enjoy the calm. I want to be present and not always thinking about what’s next.

I want to drink a full cup of tea before it gets cold.

I want to be spontaneous.

I want to do so many things. So many other things. Things that don’t always involve food or physical health.

Who knows, I may find myself missing it terribly in a few weeks or months, and may resume blogging at some point, eventually. So, I am not saying goodbye forever.

I am merely pressing pause.

For now.

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17 Comments

  1. Erik says:

    So, what are you doing tomorrow night? I know three guys who would enjoy your company out for dinner and maybe a movie?

  2. Rhonda says:

    Oh Candy! I am sad to hear you’re leaving the blog, but I understand why. Family is most important now! Your boys won’t get younger and you need to spend every minute you can with them!!! Although I haven’t commented on your blogs very often, I have read them. You are a gifted writer and photographer! I will miss that!! I’ve learned alot about eating healthier and snabbed some awesome recipes too. :) Thanks for sharing your life experiences and good eating tips/recipes with us. :) We will all be here, when and if you return! :) Enjoy this family time!!!

    • Candy says:

      Aw, Rhonda, thank you SO much. Those are some very kind words, and it means a lot to me. Thank you for being a faithful reader.

  3. Jeanette says:

    Enjoy your pause. I enjoy reading your blog and can admit you have taught us all about nutrition and have given us food for thought. I of course love the family stuff and sometimes feel that is the only way we keep up with each other. I love you and support you! You are on to just another chapter!!! Good Luck, enjoy that family of yours and above all else…be you! Do for you!!!

    • Candy says:

      Thank you for always supporting me–in everything. You are the best. I really appreciate all the comments, the ideas, and the inspiration you have given me along the way. Thank you!

  4. Oh (virtual) friend – I could have written this post. Except for the two boys part. I absolutely get it. I will miss your updates and the internet will be a little less interesting without you on it, but I know that you are far better off taking a break until you feel the desire and need to be back.

    I think this pretty much means we need to figure out how to meet up in real life (or on Skype) someday somehow so we can stay caught up. You are one of the best folks I’ve met in the blog world and I thank you so much for your friendship, your advice, your inspiration and your fantastic blog.

    {hugs}

    • Candy says:

      Okay, now I am really tearing up! Michelle, thank you so much! I really appreciate you, and the connection we have, even if it is just over the airwaves. Someday I’m sure we’ll make it in person as well, but in the meantime, I will still be faithfully reading your posts and making your recipes. Thank you for everything.

  5. Laura says:

    Oh, Candy- this makes me so sad! But I also can completely understand where you’re coming from, and respect your decision… I’m learning how to balance the blog a bit better with life, and can’t imagine keeping it up with a full time job!
    Being present with your family is so important, and cutting something off your never ending to do list sounds heavenly. :)
    Enjoy the break! I really hope it’s not permanent, I’ve loved getting to know you through your blog, but I guess these things have to end at some point!

  6. Wow Candy, I wasn’t expecting this post…. but I totally understand where you’re coming from. Life is busy enough when we have families to look after, without all the extra busyness that we create for ourselves by blogging, social networking and so forth. From my experience, these activities can start to take over if we don’t watch out. They slowly fog our minds and we begin to lose sight of what’s really important. I’m glad you’ve made a breakthrough and realised where you need to devote your time (and clearly that’s with your beautiful family :) )
    Keep up with the meditation! It does wonders for keeping our unruly minds in check (and I know how wild my mind gets when I have a break from it ;) ) And, if you haven’t done so already, check out some of Thich Nhat Hanh’s wonderful books. They’re a beautiful read and full of words of encouragement & wisdom. He’s a huge advocate of being ‘truly present in the moment’.
    Take care my friend. I’m really going to miss you! Perhaps we can check in with each other now & then on T, FB or via my blog. I’d love that! xx

    • Candy says:

      Of course we will keep in touch, Sharon! I love reading your posts and find such inspiration from you–I am your biggest fan! I will definitely check out those books, thank you for the recommendation. I am finding that I am loving meditation more and more–it is amazing how it works so well on my busy mind. Why didn’t I start years ago?! :) Thank you for everything, Sharon!

  7. Hi Candy, I totally understand where you are coming from…I will miss your post as I still do read, just do not comment all the time. It is funny becuase I think of you, Michelle, and Sharon quite a bit, even though I have never met any of you, you three are the ones that I had a connection with.
    Have fun taking the time for you and those 3 precious boys of yours. :-)
    Maybe someday we can all catch up in person…a girl can dream right???
    Ill check in with you on FB :-)

    • Candy says:

      I wish the four of us could get together too! Wouldn’t that be fun? There are a few too many miles between us all though! Anyway, thanks for your nice comment. Yes, please keep in touch on FB, email, whatever. I hope all is well with you!

  8. Oh, Candy. I can so relate to this post. See? It’s a month later and I am just now trying to “catch up” on my blog reading. I’ve had similar thoughts swirling around in my head, yet walking away is really hard for me, too. I hate that anxious feeling, though, of never having everything done. I, too, just want to “be” sometimes. Enjoy your precious family and have fun with those Pinterest projects! :-) I’ll miss your posts, knowledge, and recipes.

    • Candy says:

      Thanks, Maryea. I can honestly say that this decision, as tough as it was, has been the best one I’ve made in a while! I find myself missing it sometimes, but for the most part, I am totally enjoying the time to do other things and especially to just “be”.

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